Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Tying the knot and keeping it that way.

So, call me sheltered, call me naive, but I did not realize how lightly people take the term marriage until I entered The Real World: Corporate America.  Right.  I get it.  My first year in adulthood, but still. I was seriously shocked to slowly discover 1. How many people actually have affairs. 2. How many people don't even try to hide the fact that they're having affairs. 3. How many people have forgotten that marriage is not just some 6th grade "do you like me? check yes or no." game.  4.  How many people dangerously flirt the line of emotional affairs.  I'm about to get serious (doesn't happen often), but marriage is the binding of two people under a vow.  Right?  Marriage is the holding of hands after 50 years going strong.  Marriage is building each other up.  Marriage is seeing your spouse at their worst and best and loving them the same each way.  Marriage is challenging each other to be the best you, you can be.  Marriage is having someone to cry with, laugh with, play with.  Marriage is God-centered and for His glory.  Marriage is having someone to celebrate your successes and help pick you up after your failures.  Marriage is having a road trip partner, someone to critique movies with, and a partner in crime.  Marriage is love.  But most of all marriage is commitment.  I have a hard time understanding how affairs begin or even what insecurities they stem from, but a text here, a flirty conversation there, even thinking about the person outside of your marriage in an inappropriately emotional way?  Really, not okay.  Entertaining these thoughts can lead you down dangerous paths that may start from the simplest of misread actions.  I get that everyone has their vice.  We are all tempted in different ways, but fortunately there is 1 Corinthians 10:13 to remind us- "No temptation has seized you, except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; He will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear.  But when we are tempted, He will provide a way out so that we can stand up under it."  So, by all means, my eyes have been opened to a whole new world, and unfortunately it's not the Aladin-magic-carpet-ride kind.  This topic has recently intertwined itself with the myocardial fibers of my heart.  Especially when you're in the pursuit of living the life that God has planned out for you and praying for direction and feeling called to love, these things should lay wary on your mind as they do with mine.  My heart breaks for anyone who has fallen victim to these situations since it not only effects the two people bound together in marriage but their families, children, co-workers, and the lives surrounding them.  Talk about selfish.  So, please respect the sanctity of marriage in a society that doesn't seem to care.  If you can't at least commit to that at the very least, then here's a thought, MAYBE DON'T GET MARRIED? 

Tell your significant other that you love them, leave a thank you note for your spouse with the things you appreciate about them, perform a random act of kindness for someone you love, go on a date night, hold their hand just because, kiss their forehead unexpectedly, plan a trip together, spend time building a stronger foundation, DON'T GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU ARE 100% SURE AND READY, love each other with everything you have, and above all else: keep your relationship God-centered. Because in the end, that's all you really can do.  Lean on each other and hold tight to the promises that He brings.  
In other news for anyone who is about to ask me those ever-popular holiday questions of "SO, where yo boyfrannn at?  You got a boyfrann? Is he tall?  Is he hefty?  Is he getting you refreshments?" (youtube video...hilarious):  I refuse to settle down or even use the term settle down.  Who wants to settle into a marriage?  What a terrible idea.  And who wants to rush the dating phase?  Not a chance.  I want to fall madly in love.  I want to make date night a regular thing.  I want to flirt with my husband when I'm 82 years old.  I want to spend time appreciating each other in all of our weirdness.  I want to put effort and energy into a relationship.  I want to travel together, learn together, and live our lives together.  No secrets.  No strings attached...

1 comment:

  1. Wow Janel you hit the "nail on the head"! We as a society are on a slippery slope of devalueing any and everything. Mostly the things that God wants us to know and remember. Lifelong love is a gift that God gives us to remind us of our marriage to our Savior and the eternity to come. Satan wants to deceive all of us into thinking of the here and now! Praise be to God for His Love Endures Forever!!